More than a Question of I Do
by theunknownvoice
Summary: How could she marry Nightwing when her heart belonged to someone else?


**More than a Question of I Do **

By: theunknownvoice

Disclaimer: I wish I owned my favorite redhead but sadly I don't. All characters are property of DC Comics and their affiliates.

A/N: Don't get me wrong I love Robin but I am really sick of all these fanfics where the Titan girls only want to be with Robin. There are several fanfics where Starfire or Raven leave their significant other to be with Robin. So I chose to turn the tables in this fanfic and have Robin be the one left behind.

She wasn't supposed to love him. Yet she did. She didn't know when or how it had happened.

From the moment she entered the Titans her thoughts had been directed towards Robin, Dick Grayson. She could feel his loneliness, his need to prove himself. He was the leader. He was the one she would follow through hell.

She had loved Dick at first sight. She had loved and understood him because of the darkness that lurked inside of her. They were both orphans. They had both lost everything and yearned for love.

She had been in Dick's mind. She had seen his past and soothed his nightmares. She had put up with his flirtation with Starfire.

She remembered the sweet feeling of his lips. She could taste his kiss and hear his thoughts. She remembered the mask coming off of his face. The blue eyes that had greeted her were so beautiful. She was the only person who evercalled him Richard, his given name.

Her feelings for Dick hadn't changed instantly. She had felt the distance in herself increase gradually. She had felt the need to separate herself from her leader and to become something different. Dick was supposed to be her "one true love." Why had her feelings changed so radically?

Her dreams which had once been filled with bright blue eyes were now filled with stormy green ones.

She saw the truth behind the green eyes before any of the others did. He was a brightly colored package. Yet if you looked past the shiny foil and snappy decorations you saw a person consumed by self loathing and despair.

She didn't know when she had first guessed that he wasn't what he appeared. Dick was openly brooding but he brooded in the silence. Dick's blue eyes were hidden behind a mask and so were his green ones. They were night and day, similar and different.

She was one of the few who had seen behind both of their masks. She had been in both of their minds. Dick needed her when he was facing insanity. He needed her when he was battling the addiction to heroin.

She had been his friend. He had been her teammate. They were nothing more. There had been no instant spark at their meeting as there had been when she first met Dick. His blatant humor and narcissism should have pushed her away from him. Instead she was attracted by the flame that seemed to lurk within the redhead.

She hadn't crossed any line with him. She had always been so careful. Yet there had been that one time when he had kissed her. It had been a simple kiss brought on by mistletoe. They hadn't wanted to but everyone including Dick expected them to uphold the tradition.

She could still remember the innocent friendly kiss. She had had a brief taste of him and ever after that she was addicted. He had tasted of cigarettes, smoke and strangely enough of flames. It was strange compared to the darkness, and water that Dick tasted of.

She had tried to maintain her distance following the kiss. Instead he had penetrated every aspect of her psyche. She noticed that he openly avoided her afterwards as if he too saw the line between them blurring from friend to something potentially more.

She knew she was part of the reason he chose to leave the Titans. She wasn't the only reason. He had been butting heads with Dick. He had felt second-rate compared to the "perfect" Dick Grayson. So he left behind the team and went to make a life for himself.

She had missed him. She found herself looking for him in the oddest places. His room at the tower was cleaned out. There were no more dirty jokes at monitor duty. No one came during her mediation periods and told her that life was for the living with him not their. There was no cocky grin at the breakfast table and she still kept her ears open for the sound of whizzing arrows hoping that he would come back.

Instead of lessening her feelings for him intensified. She dreamt of him and treasured things that he did. She even went as far as to watch Star City play football against Gotham. All the while she cheered for Star City telling Dick that her team would beat his.

Yet though she remembered him she told herself she didn't love him or need him. He was gone and she was with Dick. She was with Dick and he was Dick's best friend.

The relationship between her and Dick had changed drastically. He changed from Robin to Nightwing. He became a man and she a woman. It changed from innocent kisses to days spent in the bedroom.

Their relationship evolved naturally but still they lived in two different cities. She remained in Jump. She went to school at the university and was intent on becoming of all things—a drug councilor. Dick moved to Blüdhaven. He went through the police academy and became a detective.

She was still with Titans as a full time member. She trained the younger kids and was there to keep Beast Boy in line. He worked closely with the other members of the "Bat family." He had partnered up with Huntress, Robin, and the new Batgirl to bring justice to Gotham and Blüdhaven.

She stared at the engagement ring on her finger. That one little diamond had caused her to debate over everything. She thought she had made her choice. She thought she had forgotten her feelings.

The wedding dress was spread out over her bed. It wasn't white. She couldn't have born to wear white. Instead Raven had picked out a pale blue wedding dress.

She stared at the pale blue gown. It wasn't traditional but neither was Raven. She had been so close to giving Dick everything. She had been so close to saying, "I do."

Dick had ruined all of that. He had ruined it all when he had chosen Roy Harper to be his best man.

She hadn't expected to feel anything towards Roy after five years of separation. She had been sadly mistaken.

Roy had gone to work for the government. His work with Checkmate had led him to cross paths with a familiar villainess, Cheshire. Roy being Roy didn't think anything of entering a romantic relationship with a criminal. It took Cheshire nearly killing him for him to completely get the idea that this wasn't a good idea.

Raven was in complete shock when she saw a little girl standing beside Roy. The little girl was Lian Harper, Roy's daughter with Cheshire. Lian had immediately become the spoiled princess of Titan Tower. The little girl was adored by everyone but what surprised all of the current and former Titans was Lian's adoration of Raven.

The little girl became Raven's shadow. She was curious about everything and Raven smiled at the child's way of handling the world. Because of Lian, Raven ended spending a lot of time with Roy and his daughter.

She would laugh at the little girl's clever antics and smiling face. The child was a bright beacon of light. She made Raven long to be a better person. The type of person who cared fully about her fiancé and didn't have unresolved feelings for the best man.

It was worse when she thought about the feelings Roy was projecting. He liked her a lot more than friend. The more time they spent together the more she felt that he loved her.

He wasn't Speedy anymore. He was Arsenal and life had made him grow up. He was still the cocky boy that she had fallen for but he knew when to be serious. He examined angles instead of rushing in and he had his moments of self-hatred.

There she was in her room. She supposed to be preparing for her wedding. She was supposed to be saying, "I do" to Dick Grayson but instead she was staring at her wedding dress.

"Raven, are you alright?" Roy asked.

Dick had sent him to check on Raven when she didn't appear after fifteen minutes. He was surprised to see a tear stained Raven open the door in her bathrobe.

He tried to grin cheekily to defuse to situation but it didn't help. She just went back to the bed and cried again.

"I can't do it, Roy," she whispered. "I can't promise to love only him. I just can't."

He went to sit down beside her. "Do you love him?" he asked somewhat calmly.

"Yes."

"Then what's the problem? Marry him and be happy."

"I love someone else more."

"You aren't having an affair? How could do something like that to Dick?"

Her eyes snapped up.

"I would never do that to Dick. I care about him. I just love someone else."

"Who is it that you—"

She cut him off by kissing him forcefully. Her hands rummaged through his red hair pulling him closer to her. She moved against him firmly allowing her body to fit into the contours of his.

His hands went under robe felling the soft flesh. He pinned her to the bed and was willing to keep going.

He wanted her. He had for a very long time. He had run from it and had left the Titans before he could do something reckless. He hadn't wanted to hurt Dick.

_Oh shit!_ He pulled himself off of her.

She was surprised when he moved away from her but then she realized the truth. They had almost…..

"Do you love me?" she asked him.

His green eyes narrowed and then softened.

"Yes," he answered simply.

She smiled brilliantly before grabbing some clothes and heading to the bathroom. She wanted to change right there. She didn't care if he saw but she had to deal with Dick before they did anything.

"What are you going to do?" he asked when he saw her come out dressed in black slacks and white shirt.

Her hair was pulled up. She looked beautiful in the dirty school teacher kind of way.

"I'm going to go talk to Dick," she replied as she headed out the door.

He trailed after her knowing better than to argue.

She marched into the church where everyone was waiting. Dick stood at the alter. His black hair was as unruly as usual and his eyes met hers.

The crowd murmured as she marched down the isle Roy following her. Beast Boy motioned towards the orchestra to start. "Here Comes the Bride" echoed throughout the church. Violet eyes focused murderously at Beast Boy.

"Stop the music," she yelled.

The entire room watched in shock as she marched right up to Dick.

"We need to talk…alone," she said as an afterthought.

Thoroughly shocked Dick nodded as Raven led him through the doors behind the alter.

"I can't do this," she said bluntly. "I can't marry you."

"Raven, it's just cold feet," he said calmly.

"No, I'm in love with someone else," she said softly.

His eyes widened.

"Have you been seeing someone behind my back?" he demanded. "Raven, we've been together for years. You can't just throw away a relationship."

"Dick, you and I don't even share a world. We live in two completely different cities. We have separate lives. You don't want to let me."

"You can't blame this on me."

"I'm not."

He kissed her gently on the lips. He just wanted to see if there was anything but he felt the coldness of the lack of response. It was a kiss of goodbye.

"We'll call it off together," he said afterwards.

She smiled at him as the walked through the doors.

Raven grinned brightly as Lian ran and hugged her. The reception was still held although there was no wedding. Roy watched the two of them from the bar. He didn't want to approach Raven too soon because of what the others would think. He didn't really give a damn about what they thought of him but he wasn't going to listen to them talk ill of her.

"You better take good care of her," a man said.

Roy jumped at the voice as he turned to look at Dick.

"You knew," Roy said simply.

"I suspected. You had a crush on her when you first met her. You told me so. I just didn't figure out that she liked you until I remembered her behavior after you left. She was cheering for Star City."

Roy smirked. "That's my girl."

"Don't fuck this up Harper. You make enough mistakes as it is without hurting my fian--best friend."

"I don't intend to," Roy replied as he went over to Raven and Lian.

Dick watched slightly envious.

"Well, well the saint lost to the sinner."

"What do you want Helena?"

"Cool your jets. I just thought I would ask you to dance."

Dick gazed at her for a second. What could it hurt?

The End


End file.
